For My Valentine

When you do a lot of races, it's sometimes easy to forget the people around you that are always at the finish line.  They put up with our pre-race anxiety, they listen to us talk about injuries and nutrition, they wake up early with us, and they always cheer us on.  So, this is for Sam who has always been at the start and finish line for me.

It was 4 a.m. the morning of the Big Sur Half Marathon and I was having a small panic attack because I couldn't find Band-Aids anywhere.  Instead of saying something like "that sucks," Sam went out in the pre-dawn coldness and found a place that was open and sold them because they didn't have the right kind at the hotel front desk.

Big Sur Half Marathon

A few minutes before the Pengelly Single Dip, I realized I'd forgotten to put my timing chip on my shoe.  Sam knelt down and fixed it for me, and then again when I didn't think it was right, and then again when I was still afraid it would fall off.

Pengelly Single Dip

After the Run for the Luck of It last year, I was bummed over a disappointing finish time.  Sam took me on a hike and got my mind off it.  He's driven back to race finish areas when I've forgotten to print off my results, and peanut buttered countless bagels.  He's gone to all the expos, events, and film festivals.  He's pinned on my bib, fixed my timing chip, and taken a metric you-know-what-ton of pictures.  And he's always there cheering at the finish, race after race. 

Thanks to Sam, my Valentine and biggest supporter.  Love you to the moon.

Forward Movement

When I started running, I had no base times and no idea what I was doing.  I ran because it was free and I already had the shoes.  I ran for the freedom of it and after disappointing race times in 2013, it may be time to get back to that idea.  So, my running shoes and I are forging ahead into new races and my first full marathon.

First up is Run for the Luck of It, a St. Patrick's Day themed 5K that I've done for the last three years.  You can read about my experience with that here.  It's my primer race for a long few months of spring training.  Also, costumes and free beer.

Run for the Luck of It 2013

Next is a race that's completely new to me, 11 Miles to Paradise.  It runs through Lolo National Forest near Paradise, MT.  It will be my first technical trail run, so I'll be facing that old fear of getting lost head on here.  In a national forest.

In June, assuming I make it out of the woods, I'll be doing the Pengelly Single Dip which I ran for the first time in 2013.  You can read more about that here.  It's my current favorite and the reason why I wanted to give trail racing a try.

Pengelly Single Dip 2013, done!

Last is the Missoula Marathon in July.  What I like best about this race is that I've never done it before.  I have no base time and my only goal is to finish.  The time doesn't matter because whatever it is, it'll be the fastest I've ever run a marathon.

The goal for all these races is to run them with heart.  It's what I learned before I ever completed a race and it's the only lesson that really matters.

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To learn more about these and other Missoula races, you can visit my links page up top.

Race Recap: Getting Over a Not So Good One

I have a confession to make: after my half marathon this past summer, my running got sloppy.

I was so happy. I had done it!  Now I had no race to train for and was more than willing to take a little break.  It was supposed to be one, maybe two, weeks off from running.

And I had no shortage of things to take up my time.  It was summer and I had a new boyfriend, Sam.  Life was good.  I spent time at Flathead Lake and hiking in the woods.  I went to Arizona for a trip to Lake Mead with my family.  I watched my boyfriend's band play and planned a trip to Oregon.  I did everything except run.

Oh, I didn't give up entirely.  There was a sporadic couple of days in a row here and there.  But without a race to train for and a budding social life, running went on the back-burner.

Time passed, and then a little more time passed.

The days (and free time to run) got shorter.  I was spending more time at work and less time outside.  The lack of daylight depressed me and made me less likely to run.  I didn't want to do anything.  The less I saw daylight, the less I wanted to do anything.

It wasn't until early February that things started to get back on track.  That's when I started this blog to help keep myself motivated and to share my love of running.  Because I really do love it, slump or not.

Anyway, on to my first race of the year.  Run for the Luck of It was the first of several races I have planned this year.  It's fun, people dress up and there's free food and beer.  The Celtic Dragon pipe band plays and everyone has a good time.

Celtic Dragon pipe band

 But I was nervous.  I was psyching myself out, I could feel it.  But this was just a 5K!  It's supposed to be fun!  My friends were talking about how I was going to smoke it, get a PR, leave people in the dust. 

The days leading up to the race, I kept thinking PR, PR, PR.  And more realistically, I thought - if I finish under 30 minutes, I'll be happy.  I didn't want to say that to anyone because I knew they'd be thinking what I was thinking, you can go way faster than that.

I got ready on race day in my shamrock shorts and socks.  Sam and I watched the seven milers take off.  We watched the pipe band play and chatted with friends until I had to line up.

They ran the whole race with that giant rainbow.

The gun went off before I was ready and it set the tone for the race.  My head wasn't in it; I couldn't focus and it showed.  My form and pace were sloppy.  I was too focused on my fall/winter running slump.  After two miles, people started passing me.  I finished in 31:59, my slowest 5K since the one I walked two years ago.

The morning after the race, I went for a run on my favorite route, a 3.2 mile loop along the Clark Fork river.  My pace and cadence were smooth, my thoughts uncluttered.  I paid no attention to how long it took to complete it.  I remembered that I loved running.  I understood that I couldn't expect a PR on my first race back from such a long hiatus and that it wasn't my body that failed me, but my mind.

Stayin' positive!

 My ego is still a little wounded, but I'm getting there. 

And one other thing, a bad run is still better than a day stuck inside.

The Athletic Evolution of Ashley

I signed up for my first race of 2013, Run for the Luck of It, a very fun, very green, St. Patrick's Day 5K.  I like to use it as a base time because it coincides nicely with the beginning of my half marathon training.  I do another 5K in late April and I love seeing the seconds or minutes shaved off that base time as my training progresses.

Anyway, the first time I ever ran the St. Pat's race, I didn't run, I walked.  It took something like 45 minutes.  I ran the last 50'ish yards to make it look like I wasn't taking an early spring stroll through the course.

I wanted to be a runner, but I felt like an imposter.  I would go out and try a mile or two and I couldn't catch my breath, my legs were stiff and my sides cramped.  Other runners, better runners, blurred by in their tights and shirts from marathons they completed while I stood, hacking and coughing in heavy sweats.

My Wii Fit (I type this with no irony whatsoever) told me I was overweight in its high pitched little robot voice.  I'd sigh and think, yeah, I'm freaking aware of the situation.  I wasn't hugely overweight, but I was bigger than I'd ever been and unhappy.

 

That's me on the right with the glasses.  I was the funny, smart one.  I felt like the one the guys walked past to get to my beautiful best friends.

Run for the Luck of It 2011

Not long after the race I walked instead of ran, my life changed.  I started living alone for the first time in my life and I was lonely.  I'd lost friends to distance and the end of a long term relationship.

What I did have were an old pair of running shoes and slightly flooded running pants.  I had nothing to do, so I ran.  I mapped out a 3 mile loop and pushed myself through it.  It hurt, so the next day I did it again.

I started running two or three times a week at that distance.  It started to hurt less, or maybe it hurt the same but I started to like it.  I mapped out a 5 mile loop and started doing that too. 

In a small burst of body confidence, I bought running tights, a proper sports bra, and a running shirt.  But I didn't really care about my weight or how I looked in the new clothes.  In fact, that whole year I was weighed three times, twice by doctors and once by myself to make sure the doctors were right.

I started using terms like cross training and negative split times.  I did yoga in my apartment on Sunday mornings.  I started feeling strong.

Run for the Luck of It 2012, with Jim.  He's faster than everyone.

In 2012, I ran Run for the Luck of It in 28 minutes, 14 seconds. A month later, I ran another 5K in 27 minutes, 30 seconds, a PR for me.

I started hiking and running on trails when the weather was nice.  I kept a promise to myself and signed up for my first half marathon.  It made me nervous, terrified actually.  I started thinking those imposter thoughts again.  I didn't set any time goals, I just wanted to finish.  I set up a training schedule and stuck to it, mostly out of fear of what would happen if I didn't.

Hiking in Missoula, MT 2012.  Two months before my first half marathon.

My longs runs got longer.  One afternoon, I ran 10 miles in the pouring rain and it occurred to me - I'm a runner because I run.  People weren't looking at me and saying, hey, what are you doing out here with us?  The other runners were nice, most of them smiled and waved hello.  I realized there was a lot of camaraderie to be had in a sport that was solitary by nature.

We runners are a strange bunch.  Unless we're one of the select few with major sponsors, we actually pay to do this.  We pay for the shoes and the races, the watches and sometimes, the trips to the physical therapist.

I don't know about everyone else, but I run because I have to.  I've learned more about myself by running than I have by doing anything else.  I learned that pushing forward starts with your mind, I learned to like the pain, to breathe.  I learned that bad days can be erased by great runs.  I learned that the silence on a good trail has a feel.  I learned what the words "dig deep" really mean and that this, this small part of my life so far, matters because it matters to me.

Missoula Marathon/Half Marathon 2012